First Time MOM

For example, suppose your child is not doing his homework. The natural consequences occur: your child gets a bad grade in the class, his teacher calls you in for a conference, you and your child have a heated discussion over homework, your child becomes angry, sullen and withdrawn. The homework still does not get done.

Now suppose that you replace the heated discussion with randomly made statements over a period of time, such as “I see that you’re really trying to get done on time,” “Notice how much better you’re feeling,” or “Before you know it, you’ll have that grade up and you’ll be feeling much better about it.” These are all suggestions that don’t put any pressure on your child.

They simply suggest that your child is doing the homework and is feeling better. Pretty soon, your child also will assume that it is true and will make it so.

Making random, seemingly unrelated statements leads listeners to make sense of them and draw their own conclusions. This is done on a subconscious, subjective level. Saying things like “Some people finish things before they need to” can subconsciously translate as “I (some people) can finish my homework (finish things) on time (before they need to).”

The greatest thing about the subconscious mind is that it believes whatever you tell it. Therefore, if you make statements that assume that your child is successful at completing his homework, your child’s subconscious will make it true.